Edge - Truth with Compassion

Edge vs. The Edge 
"The Edge" is discussed in Module 12. Challenging, and is described as being compassionate and accepting, not interested in anything less than the client's best efforts, an unwillingness to tolerate mediocrity, yet still be empowering...  This is a good beginning to understanding the skill called Edge.

When the Coach can Introduce Edge in the Coaching Relationship
Edge is most effectively used in the beginning of a relationship to set the tone and style of the coaching.  "Our relationship is based on our telling the truth to each other all the time. You're safe with me and I want to have permission from you ... to say what I see and press you to see it for yourself."  This is not necessarily spoken; it is more communicated in the style.

Part of coaching with Edge is being willing at any moment to refer this client to another coach.  We are most effective when we set the client up to win on their own consistently.  We are there to "listen, love, enlighten and lead;" the client is there to speak, listen, think, and take actions.  Edge keeps the client independent and the coach straight.

Edge can also be added as the relationship develops.  As coaches, we need to keep an intellectual distance from the client's projects and problems.  We can champion a client as a human being and keep a sense of urgency about getting to the heart of the matter.

Which Brings Us to Truth

"Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally; he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic."

Dostoyevsky

The coach is the client's bulwark against making stuff up to explain what our senses tell us is the truth. The coach makes it safe for the client to tell the truth.  The coach gives the client access to what the client "knows" is the truth, but has not articulated.

And Edge is how it's done.  The basic question is, "What's the truth?"  It can be said in a variety of ways, but it always comes down to "What's the truth?" spoken right into the client's heart.  From his ears to his heart ... bypass the brain.  And the truth will pop out.

The key is for the coach not to know what the truth is, and trust that the client does.  The coach must risk, must trust their intuition, must honor the client's natural knowing, and simply make a safe place for the client to say the truth.   And when the truth is spoken, the coach must grasp it before it flies away and hand it ... as a gift ... to the client.

And If You're Quite Sure You Don't Get It ..... 

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. And try to love the questions themselves.  Do not seek the answers that cannot be given you, because you would not be able to live them And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, Live along some distant day into the answers."

Rainier Maria Rilke